Beer and Alcohol Quotes Hunter S. Thompson Al Bundy Michael Jackson Jesus Juice William Butler Years Mark Twain Homer Simpson Greg Norman Julius Caesar Ceasar

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If all be true that I do think, there are five reasons we should drink;

Good wine - a friend - or being dry - Or lest we should be by and by - or any other reason why.

Henry Aldrich

There are two reasons for drinking: One is, when you are thirsty, to cure it; The other, when you are not thirsty, to prevent it.

Thomas Love Peacock

Meyer Breslau Beer once tasted like something. It was made out of malt and hops and yeast and pure filtered water... Nowadays it is often made of such gook as rice and corn grits... nothing but dirty water. It's so light and clear it's nothing...ignoble swill.

Charles McCabe

"Jesus Juice"

The accuser has said that Jackson extolled the virtues of spiked soda to him and his siblings by saying, "Jesus drank it, so it must be good."

Vanity Fair

I don't think I'm even allowed to not double fist.

Rob

Where there's bitches, so am I.

Ryan

Will Work for BEER!

Come, guess me this riddle, what beats pipes and fiddle, What's hotter than mustard and milder than cream? What best wets your whistle, what's clearer than crystal, What's sweeter than honey and stronger than steam? What'll make the dumb talk, what'll make the lame walk, What's the elixir of life and philosopher's stone? What helped Mr. Brunel to dig the Thames Tunnel? Wasn't it whiskey, me boys, from old Inishowen?

The Humours of Whiskey

Cover a war in a place where you can't drink beer or talk to a woman? Hell no!

Hunter S. Thompson

on the Gulf War

So I'm in San Francisco visiting my brother and we go out to dinner with a bunch of friends at a Chinese Restaurant in the Castro district. We are the only straight guys in the group. It is a very entertaining night full of jokes and laughter. On the way home, our gay friend is following the directions we give him to get us back to our apartment. He finally realizes where we are and blurts out. "Oh I'm taking the back way in!" .. Then he says. "Man, If I had a dollar for every time I heard that!"

(Ackward..but funny!)

Football games were never meant to be observed by sober people.

Nils

Don't think of it as sleeping with your professor...

think of it as "acing Biology."

I never should have switched from Scotch to Martinis.

Humphrey Bogart

his last words

Pretty women make us BUY beer. Ugly women make us DRINK beer.

Al Bundy

Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.

Dave Barry

Nothing quenches the thirst like a wheat beer, or sharpens the appetite like an India pale ale. Nothing goes as well with seafood as a dry porter or stout, or accompanies chocolate like an imperial stout. Nothing soothes like a barley wine. These are just a few of the specialty styles of beer.

Michael Jackson

Got Beer?

Michael Jackson plied children with Coke cans full of "Jesus juice" (for white wine) and "Jesus blood" (for red) and quaffed enough of the stuff himself to get snockered on an airplane ride.

E! Online

So popular is beer, the world's best-selling alcoholic drink, that it is often taken for granted. Yet scientific analysis shows that a glass of beer has within it as many aromas and flavors as fine wine. Not everyone understands this, but an increasing number of people do.

Michael Jackson

Whoever makes a poor beer is transferred to the dung-hill.

Edict of Danzig

11th Century

Beer drinking doesn't do half the harm as love-making.

Fermentation and civilization are inseparable.

John Ciardi

There are more old drunks than old doctors.

A statesman is an easy man, he tells his lies by rote. A journalist invents his lies, and rams them down your throat. So stay at home and drink your beer and let the neighbors vote.

William Butler Yeats

Give an Irishman lager for a month and he's a dead man. An Irishman's stomach is lined with copper, and the beer corrodes it. But whiskey polishes the copper and is the saving of him.

Mark Twain

O Beer! O Hodgson, Guinness, Allsopp, Bass! Names that should be on every infant's tongue.

C.V. Calverly

Who cares how time advances? I am drinking ale today.

Edgar Allan Poe

I'm Allergic to grass.

Hey, it could be worse.

I could be allergic to beer.

Greg Norman

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving isn't for you.

Better late than pregnant!

She's seen more ceilings than Michelangelo!

Beer makes you feel the way you ought to feel without beer.

Henry Lawson

Wine is but single broth; ale is meat, drink, and cloth.

16th Century English Proverb

At social parties no gentleman ever thought of leaving the table sober; the host would have considered it a slight on his hospitality.

F.W. Hackwood

Comment on Manners

18th Century England

I'd like to shake the hand of whoever invented masturbation. Wait a minute...never mind.

Sean

Beer..."a high and mighty liquor."

Julius Caesar

Yesterday, scientists for Health Canada suggested that men should take a look at their beer consumption, considering the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer. The theory is that drinking beer makes men turn into women. To test the finding, 100 men were fed 6 pints of beer each. It was then observed that 100% of the men gained weight, talked excessively without making sense, became overly emotional, couldn't drive, failed to think rationally, argued over nothing, and refused to apologize when wrong.

No further testing is planned.

Who says nothing is impossible?

I have done nothing all my life.

Please hold my beer while I fuck your girlfriend.

Drunk Friend

Beer that is not drunk had missed its vocation.

Meyer Breslau

A Beer left unattended.....

is a beer unattended.

Chuck Palmer

PDX Beer Committee

It is disgusting to note the increase in the quantity of coffee used by my subjects and the amount of money that goes out of the country in consequence. Everybody is using coffee. If possible, this must be prevented. My people must drink beer.

Frederick the Great

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